You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.
If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.
But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!
Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.
Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!
140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com
Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.
Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.
Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.
Is going to rane tru weak.
Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR
It Could Still Be Happening Somewhere, Chances Are
“Usually, when something dangerous or unusual happens within the city, police are able to shut it down pretty quickly. This helps limit any worry or fear Montrealers might have when venturing outside alone, especially during the darker hours of the day.”
USUALLY, yes. But rumors have come to our screens that something may have happened and this time — police may not have any updates on the case… of the thing… that happened.
Apparently, the thing would have happened to someone, inside some area. It would have been very terrifying and we were very worried when we heard of the possibility of this thing happening, maybe.
We’re not trying to be pointless alarmist fucks, or anything. Wouldn’t you be worried if this happened to you? Or even a friend you have on Facebook? Share this journalistic article with a “feeling worried” and a worried emoji to describe your worry. Carry a knife at all times, trust nobody and never EVER sleep. Oh and buy poutine at La Belle Province. It’s on special this week.
So we were on the Google internet
And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!
Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!
Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.
We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.
Somewhere, in Montreal, Montreal has taken the decision herself to open a Game Of Thrones themed bar or something! We have seen pictures, and we may or may not have seen a sword somewhere. Oh, and a flag. There was definitely a flag. That means GoT my dudes (and girls too)!!!!!
Fact-checking to be done later this month.
Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!
Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!
Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan
Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!
Do you game? Do you g33k? Are you the ultimate cyber-warlord (LOL)? Boy, do we have a treat for you! Turns out newest intern’s friend has a Nentendo at home and he wanted to write a review for MTL’s very-own Farcry 4 from Ubisoft MTL!
Farcry 4 is a game much like Mario Party was a game too. It uses a controler-pad to direct the character, there is land where he walks on and the character you play can also jump! It gets pretty awesome as soon as you start the game, because there is a 10 minute-short movie. The movie is about a man in a bus and his old friend finds him. It’s like Big Bang Theory (BEST TV SHOW) but it’s outside and it’s got guns and it’s in India and there’s a man who gets stabbed with a pen. Ouch!
After the short movie, you are left in a house and you have to escape. This part was really difficult because I could not jump off the balcony. I tried and tried for maybe an hour and nothing worked. I don’t know the right manoevers for this, apparently. Luckily, I was told it’s a world that’s open kinda-game; there are many ways to do whatever you want! So I walked down some stairs, got scared and when I was outside, I was having a panic-attack so I had no idea what to do and I died many many times and I cried because it was violent. This game is HARD. But some people like hard games. I’m a geek and I like Big Bang Theory so I like this game too.
After my friend played for two hours, I was given the controler back. The game was STILL hard because some buttons make grenades appear and I had to dodge them but the camera kept spinning because I didn’t know how to play. After two days of practice, I was finally able to play the proper way and I went into a car and I was looking at the beautiful birds in the sky over the lake and I ran over a man and fell in the lake. I had no idea what button I pressed so I couldn’t get out of the car either, it was a really stressful moment and I tend to faint when things get too stressful.
When I regained consciousness, my character was back on land and he wasn’t in a car anymore — gee, what a relief!
This game is good because A LOT of people like it. I like being a video-game cridic because I never do anything and I was doing something. I give it 5 thumbs up!