LOL Events Planning Fyre Fest-Themed Party In Verdun Beach

After the monstrous success of the Harry Potter-themed party last weekend at the Rialto Theatre, LOL Events has teased another massive party for MTL!!

loltweet

Since we’re the most reliable info source MTL can get, we had the privilege of getting a few names that were booked on the line-up:

  • Loud
  • Snoopy the Dog
  • Arcade Fyre
  • DJ Khaled
  • Tekashi 6ix9ine
  • David Bowie
  • The women in Grey’s Anatomy
  • Richard Harris (for a stand-up comedy set)
  • Murphy Cooper VS Beaver Shepard free-for-all match in the octagon
  • The leftover chopsticks from the Harry Potter-themed party
  • Many more to come!

We’re saving up for the premium packages! Pre-sales date TBA

“Opening Soon” Mile End Restaurant Is Now Ready To Open And Fall Out Of Business In Two Weeks

Things are heating up in the Mile End and in a good way! Yes! The things that are heating are meals! Food? Yum!

Located at 75 St-Viateur, in the heart of the Mile End district, Cantine Emilia has almost finished prepping the opening of it’s brand new restaurant and will very soon be ready to open up and fall out of business two weeks later!

Following last year’s successes of the previous 13 restaurants that made their home in this typically-Mile-End building, there will for sure be a lot of good cookery going on!

We tried to get a word from the person who seemed to be the owner of this new restaurant and who was on site as we walked by, but his long gray hair and levitating body quickly hid behind curtains when he saw us. The only words that we could get from were “It is alost finished. ha ha…. HA HA HA! IT IS ALMOST FINISHED!”

Share and like this article of journalism if you love FOOD!

You Can Watch A Bunch Of Horrid Movies Under The Stars For Free In Montreal This Summer

You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.

If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.

But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!

Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.

Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!

 

Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

Sock It To Me – MTL’s 8 Best Places To Buy Sox

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If you’re like us, you like to wear socks. Socks are great because they go over your feet and prevent things like a) blisters b) stank-ass toes c) cold feet (but not in like the metaphorical way like when your mom bailed on your step-dad at the altar or whatever). The only downside to socks is that they are hard to find and, if you’re like us and no longer live with your parents usually, they incur additional costs because you have to buy them. Here at Sooo MTL we like to think that we have the upper hand on sock-buying tips as some of us have lived away from our parents as long as three years. Henceforth, here are the eight best places for to buy socks in MTL.

(Source: montrealsouterrain.com)

(Source: montrealsouterrain.com)

8. Winners Montreal Trust
1500, McGill Collage

In some places like Ontario and I’m sure other places, Winners is called Marshall’s which is a ghetto-ass store that we would never be caught dead in. Winners however is more classy and European, and also more like to be full of #win as the name suggests. The good thing about Winners is that they sell socks in large quantities so you can buy huge-ass swindles of socks for a low low price. The bad part of this Winners is that it is in front of a food court that doesn’t have a Basha in it.

(Source: lapresse.ca)

(Source: lapresse.ca)

7. Urban Outfitters

gle+ page1246 Rue Sainte-Catherine Ouest
This pre-eminent, superlative and penultimate hipster store is your one-shop-stop for whacky socks with designs on them, up to and including: pizza, bacon, beards, Chuck Norris, mustaches, Grumpy Cats, bacon, the Motown logo, Notre Dame deGrasse Tyson, pickles, Super Mario and bacon.
(Source: mtlpascher.com)

(Source: mtlpascher.com)

6. H&M (the one more nearer to Cartier des spectacles)
450, rue Sainte Catherine West

H&M is cheap and cool and they sell socks by the half-dozen, so obviously they are high on the list. This one is smaller and has cooler clothing, so you will likely find some more swag socks there. DISCLAIMER: Chad’s former bae Brittany works here, so only shop here if you’re OK with buying socks from a two-timing hoe-bag from Roxboro.

(Source: ecenglish.com)

(Source: ecenglish.com)

5. Saint Laurent Street Sale
Between Buena Notte and Belmont

A bit tricky because this happens only like twice a year (better stock up on socks or should I say sock up LOL), but the Saint-Laurent street sale is good for many things, up to and including a) buying a mango on a stick for your bae b) seeing your prof wearing socks and sandals and being like WTF and trying to avoid them c) stumbling out of Muzique turnt as fuck and bothering some assholes who are cooking sausages (dat sausage doe XD) d) buying alot of discount socks.

(Source: placealexisnihon.com)

(Source: placealexisnihon.com)

4. Winners Alexis Nihon
1500, avenue Atwater

This Winners is a lot like the other Winners (AKA full of Win) but it places higher on the list because there is a Lebanese food-monger in the food court. It’s not a Basha but at least we can get our motherfuckin’ taouk on.

(Source: spacing.ca)

(Source: spacing.ca)

3. Ardene Berri UQAM
850, de Maison Neuve

St?phanie just let us know that girls buy socks too and that our list was skewering towards palaces to buy socks for dudes and bros. This is a place that you can buy berettes and hair elastics and things like that, they have socks also and are conveniently located inside the metro station. Also from what I understand they are wicked cheap which to us constitutes a form of a sexism since we cannot get the socks that cheap unless we have tiny feet.

(Source: montrealgazette.com)

(Source: montrealgazette.com)

2. Frank & Oak
160, rue San Vitteur #160

If you are not familiar with Frank & Oak (LOL?!) they are an online retail clothing store and mailing list professionals from MTL (and therefore are, as you may have guessed, SOOO MTL). They are convenient because they ship to your house so you don’t ever have to leave to purchase socks. On the other hand there are additional costs with shipping so that makes for some expensive socks so we have an alternative solution: Frank & Oak have an office and store on Saint Viateur in the heart of PMR, so go to the store and purchase the socks. Then cross the street without your purchases and have one of their clerks throw you the socks from across the street: you get the conventions of delivery without the added hassle of additional costs! WE LOVE IT!

PS: we don’t know if the man in the picture is Frank or Oak. Apologies, sirs.

(Source: louloumagazine.com)

(Source: louloumagazine.com)

1. H&M (the one closer to Concordia)
1420, rue Pee

As I mentioned above, H&M has lots of terrific clothing like tank tops, shorts, flip flops, V necks and other things like that. The latter category includes socks, which are found in plentiful and colorful varieties in this location of H&M. The advantage of this location (besides being three stories high and fairly close to the OG Peel Pub) is that there is no basic bitch hood rat from Roxboro who’s gonna run off with a Communications student (WTF) who works there.