Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

This Is What Local Standup Comedians Would Look Like If They Were Sandwiches

Have you ever been to a standup comedy show? We have! If you’re anything like us, you sat in the crowd while these funny people plied their trades and thought ”Wow, this guy/girl verily looks like a sandwich!” It’s true – most comedians look like sandwiches to the point that it will blow your mind.

(Source: Twitter, Blogspot)

(Source: Twitter, Blogspot)

Mike Carrozza and a Club Sandwich

Loveable comedian Mike Carrozza is a dead-ringer for a classic triple-decker club sandwich – mayo on the side please!

(Source: Facebook, Blogspot)

(Source: Facebook, Blogspot)

Shawn Stenhouse and a Marinara Meatball Sub

I bet you didn’t need US to point out that bewhiskered funnyman Shawn Stenhouse is practically identical to a scrumptious marinara meatball sub! Wow!

(Source: NationalPost.com, Blogspot)

(Source: NationalPost.com, Blogspot)

DeAnne Smith and an All-Dressed Hoagie

Local purveyor of yuks DeAnne Smith is well-known for wearing a shirt and tie on stage, making her ALL-DRESSED like this delicious-looking hoagie that we found on Google! (The red onion is like the sandwich’s tie, sortof.)

(Source: Facebook, Wikipedia)

(Source: Facebook, Wikipedia)

Scott Carter and a Monte Cristo

If you squint a little, you’d swear that this salty-sweety concoction was local comedian Scott Carter!

(Source: Bryan Wilkat, Vimeo)

(Source: Bryan Wilkat, Vimeo)

Chris Sandiford and a Philly Cheesesteak

This guy’s last name is practically almost sandwich already! (Fun fact: the sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwhich, who much like Chris Sandiford, was not actually a sandwich! Crazy!)

(Source: MetroNews, iStockPhoto)

(Source: MetroNews, iStockPhoto)

Eman and a Classic PB&J

Nope, you’re not seeing double – that’s local comedian Eman El-Husseini and a classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

(Source: theunclehood.com, newyorkgyroplace.com)

(Source: theunclehood.com, newyorkgyroplace.com)

Walter J. Lyng and this Felafel Wrap

How many times do you think local comedian and wresting enthusiast Walter J Lyng be mistaken for a felafel wrap in an average day? A lot, we bet. Many times.

(Source: Twitter, grubgrade.com)

(Source: Twitter, grubgrade.com)

Adam Susser and the Rodeo Chicken Jr. Sandwich at Burger King®

Presenting the new Rodeo Chicken Jr. Sandwich from Burger King®. The Rodeo Crispy Chicken comes with a crispy chicken patty, sweet and spicy BBQ sauce, and onions rings on a sesame seed bun. Find one now at your BK®!

(Source: mikepaterson.ca, Flickr)

(Source: mikepaterson.ca, Flickr)

Mike Paterson and a Chicken Sandwich from Romados

LOL, bruh, did you think we were going to go an entire article without mention Romados? #smdh #fail

(Source: Pickle Monger, raininghotcoupons.com)

(Source: Pickle Monger, raininghotcoupons.com)

John St. Godard and a Reuben

The proof is in the pudding (smoked meat pudding? that gives me an article idea!)

(Source: roverarts.ca, sheknows.com)

(Source: roverarts.ca, sheknows.com)

Jess Salomon and a Cream Cheese Smoked Salmon Bagel

Salomon… Salmon… Get it? We can makes jokes too you know LOL also the bagel is VERY MTL as you probably know.