“Opening Soon” Mile End Restaurant Is Now Ready To Open And Fall Out Of Business In Two Weeks

Things are heating up in the Mile End and in a good way! Yes! The things that are heating are meals! Food? Yum!

Located at 75 St-Viateur, in the heart of the Mile End district, Cantine Emilia has almost finished prepping the opening of it’s brand new restaurant and will very soon be ready to open up and fall out of business two weeks later!

Following last year’s successes of the previous 13 restaurants that made their home in this typically-Mile-End building, there will for sure be a lot of good cookery going on!

We tried to get a word from the person who seemed to be the owner of this new restaurant and who was on site as we walked by, but his long gray hair and levitating body quickly hid behind curtains when he saw us. The only words that we could get from were “It is alost finished. ha ha…. HA HA HA! IT IS ALMOST FINISHED!”

Share and like this article of journalism if you love FOOD!

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You Can Watch A Bunch Of Horrid Movies Under The Stars For Free In Montreal This Summer

You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.

If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.

But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!

Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.

Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!

 

Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

This Is What Local Standup Comedians Would Look Like If They Were Sandwiches

Have you ever been to a standup comedy show? We have! If you’re anything like us, you sat in the crowd while these funny people plied their trades and thought ”Wow, this guy/girl verily looks like a sandwich!” It’s true – most comedians look like sandwiches to the point that it will blow your mind.

(Source: Twitter, Blogspot)

(Source: Twitter, Blogspot)

Mike Carrozza and a Club Sandwich

Loveable comedian Mike Carrozza is a dead-ringer for a classic triple-decker club sandwich – mayo on the side please!

(Source: Facebook, Blogspot)

(Source: Facebook, Blogspot)

Shawn Stenhouse and a Marinara Meatball Sub

I bet you didn’t need US to point out that bewhiskered funnyman Shawn Stenhouse is practically identical to a scrumptious marinara meatball sub! Wow!

(Source: NationalPost.com, Blogspot)

(Source: NationalPost.com, Blogspot)

DeAnne Smith and an All-Dressed Hoagie

Local purveyor of yuks DeAnne Smith is well-known for wearing a shirt and tie on stage, making her ALL-DRESSED like this delicious-looking hoagie that we found on Google! (The red onion is like the sandwich’s tie, sortof.)

(Source: Facebook, Wikipedia)

(Source: Facebook, Wikipedia)

Scott Carter and a Monte Cristo

If you squint a little, you’d swear that this salty-sweety concoction was local comedian Scott Carter!

(Source: Bryan Wilkat, Vimeo)

(Source: Bryan Wilkat, Vimeo)

Chris Sandiford and a Philly Cheesesteak

This guy’s last name is practically almost sandwich already! (Fun fact: the sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwhich, who much like Chris Sandiford, was not actually a sandwich! Crazy!)

(Source: MetroNews, iStockPhoto)

(Source: MetroNews, iStockPhoto)

Eman and a Classic PB&J

Nope, you’re not seeing double – that’s local comedian Eman El-Husseini and a classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

(Source: theunclehood.com, newyorkgyroplace.com)

(Source: theunclehood.com, newyorkgyroplace.com)

Walter J. Lyng and this Felafel Wrap

How many times do you think local comedian and wresting enthusiast Walter J Lyng be mistaken for a felafel wrap in an average day? A lot, we bet. Many times.

(Source: Twitter, grubgrade.com)

(Source: Twitter, grubgrade.com)

Adam Susser and the Rodeo Chicken Jr. Sandwich at Burger King®

Presenting the new Rodeo Chicken Jr. Sandwich from Burger King®. The Rodeo Crispy Chicken comes with a crispy chicken patty, sweet and spicy BBQ sauce, and onions rings on a sesame seed bun. Find one now at your BK®!

(Source: mikepaterson.ca, Flickr)

(Source: mikepaterson.ca, Flickr)

Mike Paterson and a Chicken Sandwich from Romados

LOL, bruh, did you think we were going to go an entire article without mention Romados? #smdh #fail

(Source: Pickle Monger, raininghotcoupons.com)

(Source: Pickle Monger, raininghotcoupons.com)

John St. Godard and a Reuben

The proof is in the pudding (smoked meat pudding? that gives me an article idea!)

(Source: roverarts.ca, sheknows.com)

(Source: roverarts.ca, sheknows.com)

Jess Salomon and a Cream Cheese Smoked Salmon Bagel

Salomon… Salmon… Get it? We can makes jokes too you know LOL also the bagel is VERY MTL as you probably know.