You Can Watch A Bunch Of Horrid Movies Under The Stars For Free In Montreal This Summer

You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.

If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.

But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!

Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.

Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!

 

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Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

9 Amazing Places To Build An Amazing Condo In MTL (Amazing)

(Source: buzzbuzzhome.com)

(Source: buzzbuzzhome.com)

Condos. Condominiums. Condingdongdillidongdongs. They are Montreal’s lifeblood. They are what makes MTL run. Whether it is for some oil baron from Dubai to lodge his kids while they go to Concordia, your parents to have a place to sleep while they’re in town from Toronto or for a young swaglord who just graduated with an MBA to buy for max profits down the line, condos are so very MTL.

But we’re running out of space! They are starting to put condos in totally un-MTL places like Verdun! We wracked our brains and came up with 9 mind-blowing, spectacular, life-changing, tear-to-your-eye-causing places that intrepid condo developers should really keep an eye on!

(Source: imtl.org)

(Source: imtl.org)

9. Ritalo Theater

Chad’s dad when to see Chubby Checker here the other time, so you know it’s totally donesies. Chubby Checker must be like 80 years old – it’s time for him to be replaced by a Dilpo or Skrillex. The best way to do that is to tear down the old useless Ritalo Theater in the heart of the PMR and but some bitchin-ass new condos there. Imagine being so close to all the amenities like L’Gros Luxe Bernard and Rona! Besides this used to be a movie theater and you can get literally any movie ever made on iPads now anyway so it’s not likely to be of any use any time soon.

(Source: imtl.org)

(Source: imtl.org)

8. Notman House

This is a house located just a stone throw away from Buena Notte in the most hippest area of the main boulevard. For a long time there was rich people in this house (the area was known as the Golden Square Mile-End) and then it went real gross for a while. Now it is occupied by ‘startups’ although who knows what that means because we tried to get an office there and they said we ‘weren’t serious enough’. So the best case scenario would be to tear it down and put condos there and we’ll see whose serious enough now.

(Source: imtl.org)

(Source: imtl.org)

7. Just For Laffs Museum

Apparently according to Chad’s older brother who use to live around here in the 2000’s, this used to be a music venue! WTF! I guess maybe if you want to watch that little green goblin thing play the benjo or something LOL. Ayway this is a pretty great space just south of Buena Notte and its completely useless now and no one will ever use it so KNOCK! IT! DOWN!

(Source: loftsinmontreal.com)

(Source: loftsinmontreal.com)

6. Carry St-Louis

You may have walked through this ‘park’ to get to St Laurent (it is situated a few blocks from Buena Notte) from Sherbrook metro station. We use ‘park’ in quotations because it is mostly full of homelesses and mimes and grungy guys that look a bit like Jeff COffin from DMB playing guitars (no disrespect to DMB, obvi, but Coffin is the most grungy of those bros). With such a prime location on Saint Denis it would be a crime to let the hobos enjoy it when we could put condos there?!

(Source: connectedmontreal.com)

(Source: connectedmontreal.com)

5. Cafe Cleopartre

Stripclubs, LOL. I mean, really, what. This area is pretty cool (they even managed to turn old shitty Midway into cool, urban Midway) but who wants to go watch some old ratchet strippers here anyway? With proximity to the SAT and the new Midway, it would be a party lover’s dream! (Fun fact: Cleopartre means Cleopatra in French!)

(Source: lesaintmartinmontreal.com)

(Source: lesaintmartinmontreal.com)

4. The Parking Lot Next To The St-Martin Hotel

Downtown MTL is a condo lovers’ dream; condos as far as the eye can see. There remain some unexploited spots, however; this useless piece of shit parking lot is one of them. Put a condo in it! Since when do people who stay at hotels drive there! We have Uber now!

(Source: mapoutine.ca)

(Source: mapoutine.ca)

3. Le Rapido

This was a famous poutine PMR joint that closed, which is fine because the old hag that worked there never served us in English. It is located in the heart of PMR, close to Saint Laurent, and would make a perfect place for condos. The only downside is it’s a little far from Buenanotte but that’s what taxis are for.

(Source: flickr.com)

(Source: flickr.com)

2. The Old PA on Park

PA moved up the street which is OK but now the old PA sits empty, devoid of it’s joie de vive. Some people have argued that we should probably put something useful for the people of the neighborhood but, like, everyone in this nabe has a car I guess. PA is still there also, dorks. That’s a prime piece of real estate that needs to be turned into condos to fully enjoy the PMR with friends.

(Source: BlogMTL)

(Source: BlogMTL)

1. The Saint Joseph’s Oratory

OK, so the neighborhood is a bit sketchy (lots of incredibly foreign people, very far from Buena Notte and any other decent supperclub), but no one can deny that the Oratorio has THE BEST view of MTL. Of course some Jesus lovers out there might be upset when they tear down the oratory, but if they need to see some jesus-y stuff why doesn’t the just go to the Notre Dame Basilic? We would literally kill for a view like this one; we would watch the life slowly exit you’re eyes while sipping on a green juice and staring at the bounties of MTL. Make it happen, MTL!