LOL Events Planning Fyre Fest-Themed Party In Verdun Beach

After the monstrous success of the Harry Potter-themed party last weekend at the Rialto Theatre, LOL Events has teased another massive party for MTL!!

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Since we’re the most reliable info source MTL can get, we had the privilege of getting a few names that were booked on the line-up:

  • Loud
  • Snoopy the Dog
  • Arcade Fyre
  • DJ Khaled
  • Tekashi 6ix9ine
  • David Bowie
  • The women in Grey’s Anatomy
  • Richard Harris (for a stand-up comedy set)
  • Murphy Cooper VS Beaver Shepard free-for-all match in the octagon
  • The leftover chopsticks from the Harry Potter-themed party
  • Many more to come!

We’re saving up for the premium packages! Pre-sales date TBA

You Can Watch A Bunch Of Horrid Movies Under The Stars For Free In Montreal This Summer

You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.

If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.

But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!

Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.

Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!

 

Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

Top 10 unexplained mysteries from MTL

There’s tons of unexplained phenamenans going on in MTL. Some are fascinating and some are downright creepy.

10: That green light downtown

Source: Stephou's Samsung Slide

Source: Stephou’s Samsung Slide

OMG WTF!!!

9: That orange sphere on Decarie blvd.

Ancient indian tribes? A fast-food restaurant? Alien technalogy? Nobody knows, we’ve never been. It’s way too far.

8: The cross on MT RYL

Who was crucified there?? How did it get there? This mystery is as mysterious as the Easter Island statues.

7: Who or what are these five roses?

Five Roses –> Five Elements –> Fire Elemental –> Fire burns things –> Are Five Roses planning to burn MTL down???

6: Why is the 55 always late?

Are they taking too much time hiding the bodies from previous bus travelers that complained too much? Where does the 55 go at the end of it’s road anyways? I heard one of the drivers looks EXACTLY like Charles Bukowsky. Isn’t he the guy who shot his wife in the face pretending he was trying to do a William Teller routine?

5: If you cut the Carré St Louis in half diagonally, you get a triangle.

Illuminati? Probably. We stopped having our breaks there, even though it’s real close to our cool office. Too creepy.

4: Why is there a man with a fishing rod in Berri-UQAM Station?

Does he know something we don’t? Is he fishing for the truth?

3: What is that symbol that everyone is wearing?

Who are the “ELB”? We have no idea and it’s creeping us the fuck out. We think it’s a secret French society.

2: Who are these people talking to in these weird booths?

Source: internet

Source: internet

And what ARE these booths? Are these people schizos? Is it some kind of surveillance device? Seriously, WTF MTL!