Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

5 Top-Tips to get yourself a bae in MTL

Winter is coming (lol). Getting a bae is hard at this time of the year. Weather’s getting colder, all the cool McGill students are back from their trips to Europe and you’re broke. Still wanna find a bae before winter comes? Alright. Here are some #1 tips from the #1 himself, the pro, the Chad.

1: When she’s talking, look like you’re about to laugh at ANY second

This might hurt.. but try keeping a wide open-mouth smile, raise your eyebrows the highest you can and prepare to laugh. Girls LOVE listeners, but what they love even better is being able to make a guy laugh. Might as well be prepared. It’ll force her to be funny and you’ll be able to get that laughter out pretty quick. She’ll cherish the memory all her life and that face you gave her will stay in her head forever.

 

2: Talk about that time you went to Berlin

Berlin’s the world hottest city right now. To show your proto-bae you know what’s hot, make sure to link various things to that time you went to Berlin throughout the night (it’s ok if you didn’t really go).
e.g. “Wow, that wall really reminds me of the wall of Berlin.” or “Wow, that pizza really tastes like Berlin!”

 

3: Always have the guy’s number ready at all time

Situation: you’re at the Comish (short for Comission Des Liquouors), a red-hot gal is staring at you all night. When it’s finally 3:15 (the only time you should ever go talk to a girl in a bar), you go and ask if she wants to go somewhere else (she probz wants to go to an After in the Village), she says yeah. What you will do is go hide and quickly call your guy to deliver you some dro’n’blow. So the second she says “Ugh… I’m outta blow… d’you have?”, you’ll be able to answer “Yeah, I have”. She’ll know she’s in good hands.

4: Always have a wingman with you

A wingman is mandatory. You can’t raise yourself to a semi-god status with a stranger, that stranger might have more success than you! Bring the most pathetic loser you know.

 

5: Take her out for a poutine!

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Source: labelleprovince.qc.ca.gouv

SO MTL!!! Impress her with your street-knowledge! Bring her to eat a Petit Poutine, NEW, at LA BELLE PROVENCE.