Winter is coming (lol). Getting a bae is hard at this time of the year. Weather’s getting colder, all the cool McGill students are back from their trips to Europe and you’re broke. Still wanna find a bae before winter comes? Alright. Here are some #1 tips from the #1 himself, the pro, the Chad.
1: When she’s talking, look like you’re about to laugh at ANY second
This might hurt.. but try keeping a wide open-mouth smile, raise your eyebrows the highest you can and prepare to laugh. Girls LOVE listeners, but what they love even better is being able to make a guy laugh. Might as well be prepared. It’ll force her to be funny and you’ll be able to get that laughter out pretty quick. She’ll cherish the memory all her life and that face you gave her will stay in her head forever.
2: Talk about that time you went to Berlin
Berlin’s the world hottest city right now. To show your proto-bae you know what’s hot, make sure to link various things to that time you went to Berlin throughout the night (it’s ok if you didn’t really go).
e.g. “Wow, that wall really reminds me of the wall of Berlin.” or “Wow, that pizza really tastes like Berlin!”
3: Always have the guy’s number ready at all time
Situation: you’re at the Comish (short for Comission Des Liquouors), a red-hot gal is staring at you all night. When it’s finally 3:15 (the only time you should ever go talk to a girl in a bar), you go and ask if she wants to go somewhere else (she probz wants to go to an After in the Village), she says yeah. What you will do is go hide and quickly call your guy to deliver you some dro’n’blow. So the second she says “Ugh… I’m outta blow… d’you have?”, you’ll be able to answer “Yeah, I have”. She’ll know she’s in good hands.
4: Always have a wingman with you
A wingman is mandatory. You can’t raise yourself to a semi-god status with a stranger, that stranger might have more success than you! Bring the most pathetic loser you know.
5: Take her out for a poutine!
SO MTL!!! Impress her with your street-knowledge! Bring her to eat a Petit Poutine, NEW, at LA BELLE PROVENCE.