Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.



Montreal Decided To Open A New Game Of Thrones Themed Bar Or Some Shit

That’s right!

Somewhere, in Montreal, Montreal has taken the decision herself to open a Game Of Thrones themed bar or something! We have seen pictures, and we may or may not have seen a sword somewhere. Oh, and a flag. There was definitely a flag. That means GoT my dudes (and girls too)!!!!!

Fuck yeah.

Fact-checking to be done later this month.


Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!


Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

The Best Pokemon Go Locations To Find Rare Pokemon In MTL


Pokemon is all the rage, right now! With kids ranging from 30 to 45 years old, EVERYONE seems to be playing Pokemon Go on their cellphones (sorry Olds, You can’t play with your flip-phones LOL)!

But now everyone is wondering — WHERE DO I CATCH THE RARE POKEMONS?!? Well, the wait is over. We asked EVERYONE we know at La Belle Province, and we now have the COMPLETE list of the sweet, sweet spots to find your own Mewtwo! Here’s the full map with the list below!


1. La Belle Province

1604, Avenue de Mont Royal East

What you can find: Great poutine at an affordable price (great for munchies when you’re a student! Say hi to Manny, he’s real nice), Pidgey, Rattata, Squirtle.


2. La Belle Province

3608, Saint Laurent

What you can find: Great poutine at an affordable price (a true classic! who’s hungry???), Pidgey, Rattata and maybe Meowth.


3. La Belle Provence

1, Sainte Catherine W

What you can find: Did someone say steam-dogs?? YUM! Affordable price! Also; Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Pigeon.


4. La Belle Province

1356, Jarry E

What you can find: Great poutine and steam-dog combo! If you say hi to Manny, he might take a few bucks off the price! NICE! Thanks Manny! Also; Pidgey, Rattata, Meowth, Seel, Fishy and Flowerhead.


5. La Belle Province

3001, Notre-Dame West

What you can find: Manny, Poutine, Pidgey, Drowsey, Machop


6. La Belle Provence

4579, Wellington

What you can find: Rattata, Pidgey, Meowth, Eevee. Secret cheat-tip: You can find ANY Pokemon there if you say hi to Manny twice and order poutine for all your friends. Did I hear “poutine”? YUM!


7. La Belle Province

6752, rue Sainte-Jacques

What you can find: Mankey, Rattata, Egghead, lots of Muk, Psyduck Poutine, Coderre, Steam-dogmon


8. La Belle Province

1216, Peel

What you can find: Great poutine at an affordable price (great for munchies when you’re a student! Say hi to Manny, he’s real nice), Pidgey, Manny, Rattata, Squirtle, Manny, Steve, Diglet, Manny, Ghastly, MEWTWO!!!!, Pidgey, Manny2.


(Source: QMI)

(Source: QMI)

OMG! Is this going too far? Apparently some titties were in full display this weekend as some crazy-ass broads manifested for the right to flaunt their chesticles right in our faces!

What’s more! Pictures were taken and featured on a newspaper! SWEATER PUPPIES WERE FREE AND ROAMED WILDLY ON THIS WEEKEND DAY! What do you think? We at SoooMTL are very open minded to the idea of bitches runnin wild! You go, girls.

Hopefully this will lead to the next natural step of evolution, wherein the meninist movement are going to fight hard to be free to flaunt their rock hard boners in pubic!

Studies Show That Good Looking Outgoing People With Good Hygiene Have More Sex


(Source: my friend snapchatted it to me)

A super interesting study has just been released by the Institute of Studies About Sexy People that studied the habits of sexy people who have sex with each other and sometimes jerk it if it’s been too long. According to this study:

– 100% of people claim to prefer to have sex with someone they find attractive

-96% of people answered that they were very likely to put a genitals in their mouth if it belonged to a person who showers regularly

– 89% of women answers that they prefer the taste of bacon to penis but also said that penis wasn’t that bad compared to like a mouthful of mud

– 81% of people answered that they were more likely to have sex with someone who walked up to them and chatted instead of someone they will never meet, see or speak to

– Only 7% of people said that they enjoy having sex with bad breaths

– 0% of the people that who answered this survey were from Montreal

Bar Brutus




5) life Adele (2013)

One of my favorites in recent years … One of the best films ever made ​​about a broken heart (hey, I could make another list, that!)




4) Black Swan (2010)

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis … really add anything else?



3) Famine (1983)

Yes, the aesthetics of 80 old … very bad. But how many times in your life, you will see Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon sex?

(Source: austinchronicle)

(Source: austinchronicle)

2) Bound (1996)

Filmed by Wachowski (then the two brothers, not brothers and sisters), this extraordinary thriller brings Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly bed … You say hot?



1) Mulholland Drive (2001)

David Lynch at his best … A hypnotic and sleep tight (we are in a film by David Lynch, after all …) Hollywood