After the monstrous success of the Harry Potter-themed party last weekend at the Rialto Theatre, LOL Events has teased another massive party for MTL!!
Since we’re the most reliable info source MTL can get, we had the privilege of getting a few names that were booked on the line-up:
- Snoopy the Dog
- Arcade Fyre
- DJ Khaled
- Tekashi 6ix9ine
- David Bowie
- The women in Grey’s Anatomy
- Richard Harris (for a stand-up comedy set)
- Murphy Cooper VS Beaver Shepard free-for-all match in the octagon
- The leftover chopsticks from the Harry Potter-themed party
- Many more to come!
We’re saving up for the premium packages! Pre-sales date TBA
You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.
If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.
But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!
Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.
Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!
140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com
Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.
Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.
Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.
Is going to rane tru weak.
Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR
So we were on the Google internet
And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!
Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!
Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.
We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.
Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!
Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!
Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan
Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!
(Source: my friend snapchatted it to me)
A super interesting study has just been released by the Institute of Studies About Sexy People that studied the habits of sexy people who have sex with each other and sometimes jerk it if it’s been too long. According to this study:
– 100% of people claim to prefer to have sex with someone they find attractive
-96% of people answered that they were very likely to put a genitals in their mouth if it belonged to a person who showers regularly
– 89% of women answers that they prefer the taste of bacon to penis but also said that penis wasn’t that bad compared to like a mouthful of mud
– 81% of people answered that they were more likely to have sex with someone who walked up to them and chatted instead of someone they will never meet, see or speak to
– Only 7% of people said that they enjoy having sex with bad breaths
– 0% of the people that who answered this survey were from Montreal
– Bar Brutus