After the monstrous success of the Harry Potter-themed party last weekend at the Rialto Theatre, LOL Events has teased another massive party for MTL!!
Since we’re the most reliable info source MTL can get, we had the privilege of getting a few names that were booked on the line-up:
- Snoopy the Dog
- Arcade Fyre
- DJ Khaled
- Tekashi 6ix9ine
- David Bowie
- The women in Grey’s Anatomy
- Richard Harris (for a stand-up comedy set)
- Murphy Cooper VS Beaver Shepard free-for-all match in the octagon
- The leftover chopsticks from the Harry Potter-themed party
- Many more to come!
We’re saving up for the premium packages! Pre-sales date TBA
You’ve already heard of a really fucking horrible movie, the movie that takes viewers on a ride through something and ends a sour date on a weird note.
If you have not seen the movie already, I just have one question: why the heck not? It is a popular movie with both audiences and critics, and it has one of the best soundtracks ever.
But if you haven’t had the chance to see a really fucking horrible movie yet, you’re in luck because Avenue du Mont-Royal is hosting a FREE outdoor movie screening complete with free popcorn on Thursdays. Oh no!
Cinéma plein air (Outdoor Cinema) is a weekly event that organises free outdoor movie viewings all summer long. This Thursday, the chosen movie is Bohemian Rhapsody. Murder me.
Along with the movie, visitors to Cinéma plein air will also get free popcorn. All you have to do is bring your own blankets, chairs and will to die watching an endless abomination sitting next to some dude watching his Facebook newsfeed through the entire movie. It’s the perfect way to spend a shitty night outdoors with strangers and go home disappointed!
140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com
Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.
Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.
Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.
Is going to rane tru weak.
Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR
It Could Still Be Happening Somewhere, Chances Are
“Usually, when something dangerous or unusual happens within the city, police are able to shut it down pretty quickly. This helps limit any worry or fear Montrealers might have when venturing outside alone, especially during the darker hours of the day.”
USUALLY, yes. But rumors have come to our screens that something may have happened and this time — police may not have any updates on the case… of the thing… that happened.
Apparently, the thing would have happened to someone, inside some area. It would have been very terrifying and we were very worried when we heard of the possibility of this thing happening, maybe.
We’re not trying to be pointless alarmist fucks, or anything. Wouldn’t you be worried if this happened to you? Or even a friend you have on Facebook? Share this journalistic article with a “feeling worried” and a worried emoji to describe your worry. Carry a knife at all times, trust nobody and never EVER sleep. Oh and buy poutine at La Belle Province. It’s on special this week.
So we were on the Google internet
And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!
Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!
Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.
We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.
Somewhere, in Montreal, Montreal has taken the decision herself to open a Game Of Thrones themed bar or something! We have seen pictures, and we may or may not have seen a sword somewhere. Oh, and a flag. There was definitely a flag. That means GoT my dudes (and girls too)!!!!!
Fact-checking to be done later this month.
Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!
Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!
Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan
Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!