“Opening Soon” Mile End Restaurant Is Now Ready To Open And Fall Out Of Business In Two Weeks

Things are heating up in the Mile End and in a good way! Yes! The things that are heating are meals! Food? Yum!

Located at 75 St-Viateur, in the heart of the Mile End district, Cantine Emilia has almost finished prepping the opening of it’s brand new restaurant and will very soon be ready to open up and fall out of business two weeks later!

Following last year’s successes of the previous 13 restaurants that made their home in this typically-Mile-End building, there will for sure be a lot of good cookery going on!

We tried to get a word from the person who seemed to be the owner of this new restaurant and who was on site as we walked by, but his long gray hair and levitating body quickly hid behind curtains when he saw us. The only words that we could get from were “It is alost finished. ha ha…. HA HA HA! IT IS ALMOST FINISHED!”

Share and like this article of journalism if you love FOOD!

Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal


140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre


Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.


Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!


Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

9 Common Things To Eat You Didn’t Know Are Bad For You

(Source: detoxweightlossinfo.com)

(Source: detoxweightlossinfo.com)

We never think about what we eat. We just accept food blindly and put it in our mouth without ever giving a second thought to what’s in it. The other day I ate an old condom because I thought it was pizza. But did you know that there are things you eat that are bad for you? They could make you sick over time, and give you many illnesses. What’s more is they’re terrible for you! Here are 9 things that you probably eat every day without a care in the world that are actually bad for you.

(Source: crowemulvey.com)

(Source: crowemulvey.com)

9. Broken glass

Who doesn’t love to sprinkle broken glass on their PB&J sandwiches? Gotta love that extra crunch! What they don’t tell you, however, is that broken glass is actually a broken down version of things like windows or martini glasses! Yuck! Would you eat a window? Would you eat a beer bottle? They have sharp edges and could harm you if you swallow too much. GO EASY ON THE BROKEN GLASS, MTL.

(Source: Google)

(Source: Google)

8. Drano

Drano is a popular mixer in some of the more ‘working class’ hipsters bars of MTL. It gives mixed drinks a fizz and a green color that’s hard to resist! However, Drano is actually also used to melt clumps of hair and old soap scum in pipes. Your stomach is not made of hair or soap, so you should be fine, but be always careful with your dosage!

(Source: dreamstime.com)

(Source: dreamstime.com)

7. Cigarette butts

We all like to be green and eco-friendly, so swallowing a cigarette butt once in a while instead of tossing it on the ground is no big deal. But swallow too much, and you’ll be in trouble! Cigarette filters (which make up the majority of a butt) are very rich in trans fats, which can give you heart disease or even OCD!

(Source: voir.ca)

(Source: voir.ca)

6. Candles

We all know that apples and shit have wax on them – which isn’t so bad, since fruit is good for you! But eating too many apples can lead you to develop a taste for candles, and suddenly you’re eating a menorah’s worth while watching Criminal Minds! (Chad’s been there.) Candles are full of empty calories and are much more expensive than other healthy snacks you’ll find in the same aisle like pot-pourri or hair gel.

(Source: mcdonalds.ca)

(Source: mcdonalds.ca)

5. Big Mac trio

Um, hello, have you seen Super Size Me? He threw up! Go for the quarter-pounder trio instead – there is no filmed evidence of that making someone throw up.

(Source: moisttowelettemuseum.com)

(Source: moisttowelettemuseum.com)

4. Moist towellettes

These are given as a courtesy after a meal in some restaurants, much like a mint. But moist towellettes contain intense amounts of sodium which can block your lungs and make it very hard to enter beast mode when crossfitting. You owe it to yourself to skip the MTL (moist towellette LOL) and go for the mint instead.

(Source: mulaisekarang.com)

(Source: mulaisekarang.com)

3. The sand inside sandbags

Who hasn’t been there? You’re putting up sandbags to prevent an area from flodding; you’re working hard, you’re all wet, you’re sweating… you get a little hungy. Who hasn’t just cut into a sandbag and had a handful of sand? It’s OK, not need to be ashamed, but BLOGMtl is here to tell you that this sand is very, very bad for you. It is filled with preservatives and chemicals that can cause cancer! Fight the temptation and get some fresh organic beach sand instead. You’ll taste the different.

(Source: blogspot.com)

(Source: blogspot.com)

2. Ant traps

Ant traps are covered in peanut butter. Who doesn’t love peanut butter? I’m sure you’ve licked your fair share of ant traps in your day, but here’s the thing: ants can lift like 400 times what they weight, so think about that: can the ant poison kill you 400 times more than the ant? Probably not, but still, don’t lick ant traps, probably.

(Source: backyarddiva.ca)

(Source: backyarddiva.ca)

1. Kale

Look at it. Does it look like something you should be putting in your body? Come on. Have a little self-respect. It looks like something that grows in an alley behind a bar where everyone whizzes. Kale contains many poisons but those poisons are non-transferable to animals, so feel free to feed it to seagulls.