“Opening Soon” Mile End Restaurant Is Now Ready To Open And Fall Out Of Business In Two Weeks

Things are heating up in the Mile End and in a good way! Yes! The things that are heating are meals! Food? Yum!

Located at 75 St-Viateur, in the heart of the Mile End district, Cantine Emilia has almost finished prepping the opening of it’s brand new restaurant and will very soon be ready to open up and fall out of business two weeks later!

Following last year’s successes of the previous 13 restaurants that made their home in this typically-Mile-End building, there will for sure be a lot of good cookery going on!

We tried to get a word from the person who seemed to be the owner of this new restaurant and who was on site as we walked by, but his long gray hair and levitating body quickly hid behind curtains when he saw us. The only words that we could get from were “It is alost finished. ha ha…. HA HA HA! IT IS ALMOST FINISHED!”

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Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

Do you club scene?

Montreal’s bar and club scene is famous around the world, thanks to us. Our work is primordial in establishing Montreal’s cool factor way up there, outranking cities like Bangkok, Sotchi, Des Moines and Dublin. Here’s what’s cool about Montreal at night.

(Source: thegertudes.com)

(Source: thegertudes.com)

Casa del popolo

That place is seriously cool and it literally means “House of the chickens” in portuguese. Weird! But not so much when you know that it was first opened by members of cult local band Goodspeed you Black! Emperor!!, a reknowened obscure band that sounds like Sigur Ross. Casa del pompelmo is awesome because it’s a good place to meet girls that you see a lot at school but that don’t take the same classes that we do. Pints are cheap and the dancefloor is friendly to experimental dance moves. DJ’s are also quite friendly and open to special requests.

 

(Source: alamodemontreal.com

(Source: alamodemontreal.com

Alexanderplartz Bar

This is Montreal’s next big thing and you can guess right away that it’s about to pick up. People are a bit old at this joint for now but as soon as we can get a younger crowd to adopt it, it’ll be the perfect spot to hang out and meet young cool and hip students. The concept is simple: it’s a garage that sells beer, and their home-made Vieux-Montreal beer is TO DIE FOR! This place gets special points for it’s terrasse that consists of tables outside. They also make barbecue tacos and other foodtruck food without trucks.

(Source: iconn.ca)

(Source: iconn.ca)

Furco

Located downtown, this is a very old and venerable punker-rock bar that has been around for many a decade. It is where the most alternative lifestyles and other people who don’t listen to EBM go to hang out and listen to music that’s frankly not our jam but it’s oK if it’s yours. It’s one of the preferable clubs to hang out in downtown as far as were concerned. Every old person in this city brags that they saw classic rock legends Nirvana at Furco in 1994, but it isn’t true. Chad’s older brother Derrick was there and he says it was almost empty and sucked.

(Source: nightlife.ca)

(Source: nightlife.ca)

Notre-Dame des quiles

Do you like bowling? Do you like grilled-cheese sandwiches? This place is for you! Seriously, this is the perfect spot to hang out during frosh week! games and booze go hand in hand at Notre Dame des Quills!

(Source: nightlife.ca)

(Source: nightlife.ca)

Datcha

I think we went but I can’t be sure… Having googled it, it sounds like a place we would have loved to have been gone to and to say that we were tehre, so 5 out of 5.

(Source: flickr)

(Source: flickr)

Sanck & Blues

At first you don’t notice it, then you don’t either, but when you do, it’s like you just noticed it for the first time and your world changes forever! Snack & Blues is probably the coolest place you’ve never heard of to eat a bowl of Party-mix and enjoy a Jazz Fest vibe while McGill bullies poke you in the ass with their pool cues. WE LOVE IT!

(Source: midnightpoutine.ca)

(Source: midnightpoutine.ca)

Le Petit Des Fix

What’s great about this place is that it is very unknown and you will never meet anyone you know there – perfect for a first date! They have a wide variety of two or three beers and a jukebox filled with old school classic rock bands like Courting Crows. PS: we have had no luck picking up the bartenders here. Your mile-end may vary.

(Source: maisonneuve.org)

(Source: maisonneuve.org)

The Fall

Chad’s cousin’s boyfriend took us there one night. I didn’t even know that sort of thing was legal! LOL! It’s basically like a 24h depanneur with DJ’s, except there is no party mix to munch on. So when we got super hungry, Chad ordered a pizza, but then the bouncer wouldn’t let de delivery guy in so he called the cops and then the place closed abruptly before we could even finish our drinks or eat our pizza. Experience: 10. Service: 2. Fun fact: a lot of the people here look like pictures of you and your dad when you were a baby (the dad part) when you went to Niagra Falls.

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