Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

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Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

The 9 Kinds of MTL Dudes You’ll Meet In MTL

(Source: Google)

(Source: Google)

Are you a student? Do you want to live an old hotel that fell into disrepair and was sold to the highest bidder, for a real and total MTL experience? You’re in luck! EVOO has all that. We don’t know if its pronounced ‘eev-ooh’ or ‘ev-oh’ but who gives a shit. For the low, low price of way more than you will make in a month when you get of school, you parents can get you a bitchin’ pad directly on Sherbrooke St. or down by Square Victoria for some reason. It’s great! Go live in Evoo!

Anyway, here’s a list about dudes.

(Source: Google)

(Source: Google)

1. The Hipster

He wears pants and hats and listens to music. Maybe he is in a band as well. This is by far the most common type of dude found in MTL – we do not understand them but they are OK to hook up with once in a while as long as they don’t talk about pants or hats or music. Like most MTL dudes they are greasy. They are most likely to be found in a vinyls store.

(Source: fastcommerce.com)

(Source: fastcommerce.com)

2. The fat party animal

SO FUNNY. A staunch atheist, he is like a giant teddy bear. DO NOT FRIENDZONE.

(Source: vwvortex.com)

(Source: vwvortex.com)

3. The thug

He clubs a lot and listens to Rick Ross. He thinks he is real hard and he is, but is a thug with a heart of gold. Sometimes he has grills or tats and knows all the bouncers everywhere. A GREAT BOYFRIEND TO HAVE.

(Source: google)

(Source: google)

4. The bookworm

He might look like a pencil neck now but soon he will probably run / work for a very successful startup and you will be sorry you denied him. PS: the bookworm does not actually read any books or eat any worms.

(Source: tvanouvelles.com)

(Source: tvanouvelles.com)

5. The drunk guy

You will find him ass backward in a puddle of chundie in front of Apt 200. He is a very fun and cool dude, much like the fat party animal, but with more money.

(Source: galleryhip.com)

(Source: galleryhip.com)

6. The douche

This is a very meaningless word. Unlike the douchette, the douche does not really seem to exist, or at least we do not really understand what the hell they are supposed to be.

(Source: Google)

(Source: Google)

7. The old creepy perv

This guy stuck around after university and can now be found talking to dat ass doe from your your chem lab at old man bars like Sparrow or Blue Dog. Sometimes he is a grad student or works in a call center (or even worse, lol) and is generally a whole bunch of nope.

(Source: ouest-france.fr)

(Source: ouest-france.fr)

8. The French guy

She’s all like ‘esti coliss’ and eating baguettes and cheese. Usually found in places you wouldn’t go anyway, but sometimes they’re sneaky as fuck and sign up for classes in real universities. The worst part of this is that sometimes guys with French names will pretend not to be french and you will believe them. Go back to France lol.

(Source: jebian.com)

(Source: jebian.com)

9. The CEO of a successful arts and culture website

He makes mad cash and will probably be a millionaire before he’s 30. Lives in a sick pad, drives a sick car and wears a hoodie to all of the most exclusive parties in town – and he’s always on the guestlist. Epic beard, epic buds, an epic guy.