Are you a student? Do you want to live an old hotel that fell into disrepair and was sold to the highest bidder, for a real and total MTL experience? You’re in luck! EVOO has all that. We don’t know if its pronounced ‘eev-ooh’ or ‘ev-oh’ but who gives a shit. For the low, low price of way more than you will make in a month when you get of school, you parents can get you a bitchin’ pad directly on Sherbrooke St. or down by Square Victoria for some reason. It’s great! Go live in Evoo!
Anyway, here’s a list about dudes.
1. The Hipster
He wears pants and hats and listens to music. Maybe he is in a band as well. This is by far the most common type of dude found in MTL – we do not understand them but they are OK to hook up with once in a while as long as they don’t talk about pants or hats or music. Like most MTL dudes they are greasy. They are most likely to be found in a vinyls store.
2. The fat party animal
SO FUNNY. A staunch atheist, he is like a giant teddy bear. DO NOT FRIENDZONE.
3. The thug
He clubs a lot and listens to Rick Ross. He thinks he is real hard and he is, but is a thug with a heart of gold. Sometimes he has grills or tats and knows all the bouncers everywhere. A GREAT BOYFRIEND TO HAVE.
4. The bookworm
He might look like a pencil neck now but soon he will probably run / work for a very successful startup and you will be sorry you denied him. PS: the bookworm does not actually read any books or eat any worms.
5. The drunk guy
You will find him ass backward in a puddle of chundie in front of Apt 200. He is a very fun and cool dude, much like the fat party animal, but with more money.
6. The douche
This is a very meaningless word. Unlike the douchette, the douche does not really seem to exist, or at least we do not really understand what the hell they are supposed to be.
7. The old creepy perv
This guy stuck around after university and can now be found talking to dat ass doe from your your chem lab at old man bars like Sparrow or Blue Dog. Sometimes he is a grad student or works in a call center (or even worse, lol) and is generally a whole bunch of nope.
8. The French guy
She’s all like ‘esti coliss’ and eating baguettes and cheese. Usually found in places you wouldn’t go anyway, but sometimes they’re sneaky as fuck and sign up for classes in real universities. The worst part of this is that sometimes guys with French names will pretend not to be french and you will believe them. Go back to France lol.
9. The CEO of a successful arts and culture website
He makes mad cash and will probably be a millionaire before he’s 30. Lives in a sick pad, drives a sick car and wears a hoodie to all of the most exclusive parties in town – and he’s always on the guestlist. Epic beard, epic buds, an epic guy.