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Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Decided To Open A New Game Of Thrones Themed Bar Or Some Shit

That’s right!

Somewhere, in Montreal, Montreal has taken the decision herself to open a Game Of Thrones themed bar or something! We have seen pictures, and we may or may not have seen a sword somewhere. Oh, and a flag. There was definitely a flag. That means GoT my dudes (and girls too)!!!!!

Fuck yeah.

Fact-checking to be done later this month.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

6 biggest no-nos on office hours

At BlogMTL, we’re 9-2-5ers. And although we have the coolest office on the Main (the Main is also known as Saint-Laurent blvd (“blvd” stands for boulevard (boulevard is French for Boulevard))), there’s always unspoken rules you need to remind to the newest intern. We’re not assholes, we just don’t like a lot of things. Especially things that are different or that we don’t know about. Ew. Oh, and we’re not aiming at anyone specific, St?phanie.

6: Avoid high heels

Although high heels are very sexy, we think nobody should wear this in an office space. Ever heard high heels hit the concrete floor of a loft? We hear it everyday. It bashes our eardrums and forces us turn our heads around.

5: Don’t talk on your cellphone next to people

Right??? Everyone’s hearing your conversation and we can barely understand what you’re saying because you’re speaking French.

4: Don’t stare at people

People don’t always know each other in the office and looks tend to stick when an editor is a total QT. It’s not annoying when the girl is hot, but when she’s a 7, I mean, come on. Get back to work!

3: Don’t send us Vines every 2 minutes

That dude makes the funniest faces ever, yeah, but we all follow him and we refresh our Vine feed systematically every 5 minutes to Lync each other our reactions. We’ve seen it. Put it on your Facebook wall or something.

2: Leaving the coffee cold

Oh my god, who would do such a thing? Well, SOME of our interns do. Seriously, it’s a COLD thing to do (pun TOTALLY intended). Turn that machine back on, for P’s sake! Warm-ish coffee is SO not MTL.

1: NEVER — EVER heat tuna in the micro-wave

The micro-wave is the best invention ever since sliced-bread. We know. Pop that tupperware in and make it beep! Bam, your foods ready. But now, everyone can smell what you’re about to eat. Oh my goodness! What are you eating?! Have you washed before coming in to work or are you eating a rotten vag’ salad dipped in dumpster ooze?! Jesus FUCK! Evacuate the building.

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