It has been brought to our attention from the powers that be that we haven’t really done anything at the office in two weeks. It is difficult to explain what we do here at Sooo MTL as it involves having a lot of swag and people who don’t have so much swag do not understand (also I thought part of working for yourself involved choosing not to to work, but whatevz); however, we decided to comply and used our lunch break to talk about what we know best: literal garbage.
6. An Empty Bottle of Hawaiian Punch
We don’t know what the fuck this is. However, Hawaii is a very chill place to live, much like MTL, so we have to assume this is pretty good and/or chill.
5. A Bag Of Dog Poo
Dogs are very MTL. Our very own Chad has a brown dog named Tyler Durden that has proven very popular at getting swipes on Tinder. The problem is that dogs eat food (not poutine, usually) which causes shit which causes a potential smear factor on your brand new kicks. Thankfully this MTL put his dog’s shit in a bag and threw it out. Very MTL of you, sir/madam.
4. An Old Subway Wrapper
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3. An Empty Pack of Smokes
Here at Sooo MTL, we LIVE for our smoke breaks. They are a good way to unwind, shoot the shit with our buds, take five to go home and jerk it, avoid our responsabilities, deflect blame and also check our phones. Sooo MTL gives this empty pack of smokes 5 MTLs out of 5.
2. A Soaking Wet Copy of CULT MTL
This one is going to be needing a bit of explaining. If you know any older people, it is possible that they have told you about the Mirror. Besides being a think in which to ensure maximum swag bawss attitude in the morning and blow kisses at your haters, it was once a thing called a free weekly, years before we came on the scene and revolutionized the nightlife world of Montreal. All of the old people who read it died away and it went away.
The old people came to their senses, and they started a website, but in the sake of nostalgic, they sometimes ‘print’ the paper version. You will sometimes find it in garbages and also out of garbages. It is, in a way, Sooo MTL.
1. A Piece Of Pizza Crust
Mostly we’re about the poutine in MTL, but sometimes we’re also about the slices of pizza that can be found upon Boul. St-Laurent. Obviously this person was also about those slices, since they gobbled ’em right up! Gobble gooble, MTL!