Te Rest Of Me Going Be Disgusteng An Rany In Monreal

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140623875 © Jerome Cid | Dreamstime.com

Today is rane an col wedder will keep going for Me. De rest of Me gray, rane, sad.

Hopes for nex weak because wedder netwark predic 32 mondae. Predic rane an col for wedder nex many dae.

Bad new for ale were lookeng to sumar like becik, voleybale, sangria an terase.

Is going to rane tru weak.

Wedder forecase:

Sans titre

Unfortunate.

Sai. Godbai.

Good source for wedder forecase ere! Like ane folow! An SHAYR

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Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

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Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

SPVM Poised To Started Giving Fines To People Wearing “The Che Shirt”

Chad called me mad as hell today, and he NEVER gets angry. Chad is the smoothest sailor there is.

What happened is he was just cruising on the street with his bae and a police officer stopped him. He politely answered the officer’s questions to finally get a piece of paper handed to him. A fine. 367$. “Surely you’ve heard of the new law that was implemented, and now you’re just trying to provoke us, we take that very seriously” said officer Tremblay, as she handed him the fine.

A few minutes scrolling through your newsfeed should confirm the rumors. Massive amounts of people are getting fined for wearing the now-forbidden shirt. Rumors of a raid at Tam-Tam Sundays on MT RYL are now circulating.

Keep it in the closet, commies.

Update: Rumors have also circulated that aviator sunglasses would now be forbidden too. Chad is FURIOUS.

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