Montreal Decided To Open 99 Red Balloons Themed Biermarkt We Think

So we were on the Google internet

And we saw an image and we found after a deep investigation that Ho-Mama district (a.k.a. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve) himself has accepted Mother Montreal’s offer of opening a 99 Red Balloons themed Biermarkt!

Biermarkt is German for “a place that has beer and other things too”, so we are very excited. No confirmations on who will be the big names of the craft-beer world available at the place, but Chad says he thinks he remembers one but not for sure. One thing for sure though — there WILL be balloons!

Make sure to check this place in the near future! BRA 99 Biermarkt is located somewhere close to Pie IX Daily Metro Station.

We’ll call BRA 99 eventually to make sure this information is true. In the meantime, suck it.

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Montreal Opens First-Ever Curry Bar For Real This Time

Montreal is quite the entrapranoor, nowadays! We’ve witnessed a quite impressive amount of bars, restaurants and stores OFFICIALLY opened by Montreal herself! How inspiring!

Now it’s Hochelaga‘s turn to have a taste of Montreal’s great ideas. Located on Ontario Street, in the heart of the heart-warming district also dubbed as “HOMAMA“, Boustan has officially opened its doors for the whole world to have a taste of the FIRST-EVER Indian-Curry-Themed experience! Yummy!

11_boustan_17-2017-08-23

Yummy yummy rollin’ tummy! Photo source: Boustan

Get your chopsticks ready, my bros (and also girls)! Indian-Curry-Themed restaurants are known to be spicy, or something! We don’t know. It’s not like we checked. Leave us the fuck alone! We took the info off Google Reviews! We usually require people to sign legal papers for sole proprietorship of their kidneys for us to make such a nice article! People by the GADJILLIONS click on our links. Eat shit, poors!

8 Extremely True Stereotypes About A Jewish Guy From Montreal

Do you know a Jewish guy from Montreal? Us too. If so,  these extremely true stereotypes might ring a bell for you.

(source: putting the word Josh in google)

(source: putting the word Josh in google)

  1. His name is Josh.

It’s true! His parents named him Josh or probably Joshua, but at the very least Josh.

(Source: montrealgazette.com)

(Source: montrealgazette.com)

2. He is from Côte-St-Luc.

It wouldn’t be racist to say that our friend Josh is from Côte-St-Luc, because he is.

(Source: wikipedia.org)

(Source: wikipedia.org)

3. He went to Concordia.

You know what they say about Josh, right? “Josh went to Concordia.” It’s funny, because it’s true. Like most stereotypes about our friend Josh.

(source: ebay.com)

(source: ebay.com)

4. He buys his jeans mostly at American Eagle and sometimes H&M.

One commonly held belief about Josh is that he prefers midrange jeans that he can buy pretty much in any mall. This may shock some, but it’s true. Those are the jeans that Josh’s prefers.

(source: flickr)

(source: flickr)

5. He likes bagels mostly of all kinds but his least preferred one is all-dressed.

He says that they give him heartburn. Typical Josh!

(source: eonline.com)

(source: eonline.com)

6. He enjoys to ride a bike.

It has been said that people like our friend Josh do not like to ride a bike, but in this case, the stereotype is actually a reverse stereotype: he does! (Please note that for legal purposes here is a picture of Josh Duhamel who is not our friend Josh but is also named Josh. None of the stereotypes applies to Josh Duhamel except the one about the bike.)

(sauce: asset1.com)

(sauce: asset1.com)

7. He likes the movie You, Me and Dupree all right but he does not own it on DVD.

Funny story: our new intern Alessandro has a friend also named Josh who LOVES the movie You, Me & Dupree and watches it a lot. He even quotes from it a lot! Alessandro was sure that our friend Josh was also possessive of this quality that afflicts all Joshies, but as it turns out, he does not! He has seen the film once or twice and remembers it fondly  but that is not a stereotype that applies – or does it?

(source: SoooMtL

(source: SoooMtL

8. He gets his hair cut about once a month.

The rumor is true: Josh thinks about once a month is a decent amount of time to get the proper amount of haircut that makes his hair feel good.