Dudebro!!! OSHEAAAGAAA!!! WOO!!! You ready for some mad hype?! Because we got the schedule for Osheaga 2015 — HERE — at SoooMTL EXCLUSIVELY, brah! Share this article like MAD!
So here it is!
Day 1 (July 31st)
3:31PM: Time to suit up: wifebeater, khaki shorts from Simons, flip-flops (LOL! So ironic!!), fluo blue Ray Ban’s and DON’T FORGET the headband!!
3:34PM: You won’t really shower so just put on some colone.
4:03PM: You’re almost there, but pretend you’re waiting for a friend outside the station. Smoke a Kool if your cousin from Florida got you some in time for Osheaga. Scan around for the hottest chick with a feather on her headband. If she’s got two lines drawn on her cheeks that’s even better.
4:04PM: Get that first dose of MDMA flowin’!
4:41PM: Maybe you need a bit more.
5:06PM: SUCCESS! You’re making out with feather-chick like MAD in the hill! You can already go home for today but make sure you have her number so you can go mack some more during FUCKING BLACK KEYYYYS!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
5:32PM: The MDMA is kicking in and you’re fuckin’ HYYYPE! You decide to stay and mack some more with that cute feather-bae.
1:32AM: Feather-bae’s passed out. Your mouth hurts. Chug some JD and go to sleep with feather-bae.
Day 2 (August 1st)
4:43PM: Time to go! No need to change, but call your dudebro for some more MDMA because now you have your Oshea-bae. IT’S BK-DAY BABY!!!
4:44PM: It’s pretty early in the morning but get that MDflow on the go because you NEED to be ready for BKs!
5:26PM: Back on the hill to mack some more! Cha-chinnng!!!
6:00PM: It’s time for the strict MDMA schedule. You’ve set your alarms and there’s the first one. Take some more.
11:55PM: More. Get hype.
12:00PM: BLACK KEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Day 3 (August 2nd)
50:00,4pM: The doctors are pretty nice and that nurse is maaad-hot. Is feather-bae with you? Then she’s your bae-bae. You win, brah. You’ve done Osheaga2015 like a mad —- KIIING! PEACE!