Sentient Beard And Muscles Combo Predicted To Turnt In MTL

(Source: Google)

(Source: Google)

Wow! Big news! It has been reported that epic bro Dan Bilzerian will be attending the Beach Club in Pointe-Allumette later this summer. This most epic bro known for having many heart attacks and also an Instagram account is a real heroe for us at Sooo MTL; he is a real entrepreneurial spirit that took his dad’s money and invested it in a startup that provides lots of prostitutes and cocaine to himself. #visionary

So put on your stripped tanktop (protip they are currently 2 for 28$ at Urban Outfitters if you can stomache all of the hipsters in there, fml) and get your best buds in the SUV – perhaps if you get there early enough, YOU can catch a glimpse of the legendary man from afar on July 22th. Who knows, maybe a prostitute will stray from the herd and you can offer her MORE money to party with you!

(jk no one has more money than Dan Bilzerian)

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