Everybody knows that with great success comes great fat. Gold is high in carbs, so what can you do? Nothing, that chub is the new thing that’s charming all the baes! Beers and bacon for all of you, guys!!!
So you may not know about that #dadbod thing, because we’re really ahead of people. So here’s MTL’s Finest Dadbods For Summer 2015!
5: Denis Coderre
Need a good example of a successful #dadbod for your friends that don’t surf the webs? Look no further. This fine looking sir is a success. Legends say he eats only the best concrete, which would explain the potholes on The Main.
4: Tommy Kruise
One look at this man will make any sane girl melt like fries in a poutine grilled-cheese. MTLs hottest “playa”-button-presser. A true success
3: Charles Laplaointe
McGill Ghetto’s finest! Check out the dad-shirt! CEO, successful young chap, creative, bearded… He’s got all the perks to please! You’ll never see this guy unaccompanied by a mighty-fine bae with long legs. Rumors are she was a model once, for Simons, and he LOVES rumors.
2: Fredo Le Magicien
This man, I tell ya. Wonder where he gets all his charm? Well, on top of having all this fat (in fact, he might be one of the biggest #dadbods in all of MTL), he is a warlock. Need a tissue? BAM. Before your very eyes, he makes it appear out — of — thin — air.
1: Rémi-Pierre Paquin
We literally masturbate to this man’s success daily. He crashed through the screens for his superb performance in Ramdam, as Manolo’s favorite band’s lead-man called Radiodead. Ring any bell? Yeah. This guy thinks outside the box. He’s alternative. He’s indie. He’s in a real band too! Never heard a song but I can garantee you it’s great. This guy even opened up his OWN irish pub in Hochelaga (the irish part of MTL). If you need someone to greasen up your night, you need some RPP.
Did you think this was over? No. We can go lower! Let us introduce to you the ultimate #normcore #dadbod, Sir Lepaidge. Is that a Pur Noisettier collar? From Bonjour the Police to A Boy/A Girl to Tout Les Monde En Parle, “we” asked Lepaidge to tell us about his best kept secret, how to maintain the perfect dadbod. The proud owner of 3 restaurants who would never set foot in there told “us” it was all about watching people working for him and then bringing wine leftovers to his gorgeous manoir on St-Hubert’s street. The cheese selection is very important with the wine, remember — “the fattest, the greatest”. Eating raw gold ingots is also a great part of how you’ll keep this hot chub solid. Keep on keeping on, greatest CEO ever! We admire your work. Say hi to the police for us!