Who doesn’t love mac & chesse? Whether you get it from SuWu, Gros Luxe or some other bar that we love so much we write about it for next to nothing, mac and cheese is a super filling and delicious meal that’s totally amazing. However, sometimes you can find yourself in a situation like you totally have the flu and you can’t leave your house OR your parents forgot to clear off your credit card (probably your dumb stepmom Julie’s fault) so you can’t go and get turnt. Thankfully the good folks at the Kraft have devised a plan for such an occasion. It’s called Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and it’s amazing.
First things first, you gotta get some milk, some butter and some water. I know, I know, it’s a pain in the ass. Start by looking in your fridge: there’s a chance that your roommate has milk and butter because they are a basic bitch and their parents don’t even have a vacation home so they’re probably in a situation like this from time to time. If you can’t find it, go to the depanure. It’s to the left of the beers.
1. Pour some water into a pan. It’s a thing that looks like this:
If you can’t find it it’s probably in the box that you never cracked open when you moved. Who would’ve thought that you would once use one of the dumb things your parents gave you. ANYWAY, once it’s filled with water, put it on the over and turn up the oven round heat thingy all the way up until it starts to bubble.
2. Meanwhile you’re waiting for this to happen, take the butter out of the pack and measure out the milk. It will say on the pack of Kraft Macaroni how much you need to measure out. I just threw mine out so let’s say a cup (if you have a cup of coffee just rince that out and fill it up).
3. When the water is bubbling intensely, throw in the pasta that’s in the box. Make sure it mostly goes inside the pan. Now wait for it to starting bubble again (it will probably stop when you put the noodles in).
4. You will know that the pasta is ready when it looks like the picture above. It will be less hard, more soft and bigger. This takes some practice so I WOULD advise that you get a couple of spare boxes in case you fuck this up. Hey we can’t all be chefs.
5. Drop the butter in there and move it around with a spoon so that it melts. If your pastas are soft enough this should be pretty simple. Alternately if you’re pressed for time you could probably just nuke the butter in the microwave and dump it on. This is an untested theory. Also we had a wooden spoon for some reason (LOL fuckin’ Julie) but a normal spoon will also work.
6. Crack open the pack of powder and pour it in. This contains the cheese that makes Kraft Macaroni and Cheese its name. Stir it around with a wooden spoon or normal spoon or even a spatula or even a flip flop if you cleaned it enough.
7. Pour in the milk and stir it. It should go all over the pasta and make it look like food.
8. The bummer part of this kind of mac and chaise is that it doesn’t come with the option to add bacon or pulled pork for two dollars. If you have shit around your house (like this green shit in the picture, whatever that is) that you think you could add in, do it. Hopefully you will get enough money to start eating normally soon.